The autumn air was heavy and most melancholy. Leaves were scattered across the ground, crunching beneath the slightest pressure or stirred through the air by the slightest breeze. A crow’s cries filled the overcast sky as the evening grew darker and darker. The long forgotten church cemetery was like a bleak oasis in the middle of everything. It had been mostly left forgotten. Weeds snaked their way up the chipped and rusted metal bars that reached waist height. Dirt paths had long been neglected and overgrown.
Many stone graves stood to attention. Some were in better condition than others. While some had a more fine finish, others clearly displayed their old age through cracks and the moss that covered their complexion, spreading across the stones like a disease. Names had long since faded and been forgotten. Flowers lay rotten in front of many of them. Toys and teddy bears dirtied and aged; candles long burnt out.
The church itself was also abandoned. The windows that were once beautiful stained glass were now smashed and hollow, displaying nothing but darkness within the building. Tiles had slipped from the roof, and the intricate detail of the gargoyles had long since eroded away. The doors had been bordered up with graffiti that covered most of the exterior.
Black boots crunched through the leaves, their steps graceful and purposeful. The leather boots ended where white stockings began, highlighting the long and toned legs of their owner. The rest of her attire was hidden by a thick dark red coat and a black scarf. Held in the hands covered in black leather gloves was a bouquet of flowers, each different in colour and decorated with pink ribbons. They were cradled gently in the owner’s hands as she pressed forward. Her lips were pressed into a tight line, and her pale skin almost appeared to glow in the approaching night. Her wild blonde hair was mostly hidden by a black woolly hat. Not that she had any need for these warm clothes, but it was for the sake of keeping up appearances.
Seras Victoria approached the old metal gate that led to the church grounds. It creaked and protested as they tangled weeds clung onto the bars, fighting to keep it in place. Seras merely pushed harder, and it soon gave way under her strength. It swung shut behind her with a loud clang. The noise made her cringe, but at least there was no need to worry about attracting attention; this place had long been abandoned.
Her red eyes scanned the dilapidated graveyard, letting out a sorrowful sigh as she did so. When she had been human, places like this had always given her the creeps, but there was also something peaceful about them at the same time. The dead were not bad company it seemed. Decades ago, Seras would have probably been among them. But she had refused. A decision she had never regretted, but all the same, one could never help but ponder the ‘what ifs’. Would they have even have bothered to have laid her to rest here as per her moral wishes? Probably not, Seras thought to herself with another sigh. As a human, she had always been alone and uncared for.
Well… maybe not always…
The grave was exactly where Seras remembered it, despite her fading human memories. It had been decades since she had been here, and the guilt gripped her throat in a strangling hold. She almost felt too ashamed to continue further, but she held her ground. How often was it that Sir Integra let her leave unsupervised like this? It had taken years of building trust with the woman that Seras had long began to think of as a mother figure. She’d never been aloud this far from the Hellsing estate on her own before. She wasn’t going to waste it.
Taking a deep breath, Seras forced herself forward, her eyes never straying from her destination. The single gravestone was slightly more removed from all of the others. Dead leaves and flowers covered the plot and moss had grown almost completely over the front side of the gravestone. It stabbed at her long dead heart to see the place in such a state. She should have been here to take care of them. She had abandoned them.
Feeling a single blood red tear trickle down her cheek, Seras bent down so that she was resting on her knees, not caring about the mud and dirt that would stain her stockings. She gently placed the flowers down in front of the grave, taking great care in making sure that none of the delicate flowers were crushed or moved out of place in the process.
She then turned her attention towards the gravestone itself, reaching one gloved hand up to scratch away the moss the hid the carved-in words from view. They had faded slightly, but they were still there.
Here lies David Victoria and Jayne Victoria
A devoted husband and wife, and loving parents
Taken too soon 10th November 1987
May their souls forever rest in peace
Seras had never been sure who had sorted their funeral and saw to their gravestone, but she guessed it would have had to have been people from her father’s work. She didn’t remember much about the funeral, other than it was raining and that there weren’t many people in attendance. Seras herself was also still recovering from the attack and remembered that she had been covered in bandages that she just wanted to rip off. She had wanted to throw herself into the grave after her mother and father, desiring nothing more than to be buried with them.
She had squeezed the hand of the deputy, who had always been kind to her, so hard that day. She never let go. For as long as she could remember, Seras had always instinctively reached out to hold people’s hands when she was scared. That one small piece of contact always reassured her. How many hands had she crushed in search of comfort? Probably too many to count.
After all of that, she had been swiftly taken away, unable to return to this site until she was sixteen and could leave the orphanage to get her own place. She had worked two jobs at the time just to make ends meet before signing up to join the metropolitan police. For as long as she could remember, she had always wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps. But at that point, it was much more personal. She didn’t want to allow monsters like the ones who had killed her parents to continue to exist in this world. She knew it was a long shot, but she had always secretly hoped to come across the two men who had murdered her parents that night.
But it wasn’t to be.
Those monsters had gotten away with everything.
“I’m sorry,” Seras whispered into the cold night air. “I never had the chance to try and catch them. I hope that you can forgive me.”
Deep down, Seras knew that her parents would want her to move on from it and not focus all of her attention of catching the monsters responsible. It was too late now anyway. It was approaching the fiftieth anniversary of that night. The monsters would probably be long dead by now.
“I wish I could visit you more often,” Seras’ voice grew louder as her voice cracked with emotion. “I wonder what you think about what I’ve done… about what I’ve become…”
The gravestone stared back at her silently.
“I’m sure father would have liked Sir Integra very much. They have so much in common,” Seras continued to chat away. “My master on the other hand… well… not many people tend to get along with him. But I think he likes me. At least, I like to hope that he does anyway. I know that I’ll never be alone with him and I’ll follow him forever. I mean, he didn’t have to take me under his wing, but he did anyway.”
Seras was beginning to feel stupid talking to herself like this, but she could almost imagine her parents sitting there in front of her, their eyes kind as they listened to her. It gave her comfort, and she couldn’t help but continue to talk.
“I’m sorry that I’ve left you here. Sir Integra rarely lets me leave the estate unsupervised. Not only that, but she tends to keep me busy with missions, though it’s thankfully been quiet lately. You have no idea how hard it was to persuade her to let me come here. But, I think… I think she trusts me…” Seras trailed off. She wasn’t sure whether what she was saying was true or not, but surely it had to mean Integra trusted her at least a little bit to let her do this. Or maybe her master’s master just felt sorry for her. Though Sir Integra never struck her as the woman to let pity cloud her judgement.
“I haven’t got long,” Seras admitted with a sigh before chuckling. “My curfew is at ten. They’re like my family in a way – though it is slightly dysfunctional. I wish you could have met them.”
The young vampire stroked one of her fingers across their names.
“I hope that I can visit you again soon.” Seras stood up before blowing them a gently kiss. “I love you both so much.”
The graveyard remained silent.
With a heavy heart, Seras turned around, unable to bring herself to look back as she followed the path she had used earlier. The night was growing darker and darker, and she knew that Integra would probably be getting restless over a vampire wandering around on her own like this. Just because she had agreed to let Seras do this probably didn’t mean that she liked it. Seras didn’t want to push her luck. Especially if she hoped to return here one day soon.
As she walked home, she tugged on the trim of her coat, hoping that Integra didn’t ask her too many questions when she returned. She wasn’t sure if she was in the mood to talk to anyone right now. She just wanted to be on her own to wallow in self-pity. She had every intention of locking herself in her room and pretending that the rest of the world didn’t exist. She had been feeling this way ever since she realised that the fiftieth anniversary was fast approaching.
It had never really affected her this badly before, but lately, it seemed like all of her pent up emotions towards the incident was catching up with her. That anger she had long since pushed down since she was a child was now bubbling to the surface once again. She felt like a volcano ready to erupt in an explosion that rivalled Krakatoa.
The memories of the nuns sent shivers down Seras’ spine.
“You know what we do with naughty girls who can’t behave themselves,” Seras found herself saying the words out loud.
Seras quickly pushed those memories back.
It took over an hour, but Seras finally made it back to the Hellsing estate without incident. She checked her watch and saw that she still had half an hour to spare. Hopefully that would please Sir Integra.
The heavily armed guards by the gates gave her a quick salute before letting her inside. They tried to avoid eye contact with her, and the vampire could smell the fear and adrenaline in their blood. It caused her stomach to do a flip, but she ignored it. Even though she hadn’t been drinking properly lately, she still manage to ignore that siren’s call. She had little to no appetite at the moment. She just hoped that her master hadn’t noticed, but no doubt he would if he hadn’t already. If he had noticed, he hadn’t said anything.
As Seras walked up the long and winding road, the mansion finally came to view in an inviting orange glow. The occasional soldier walked past, patrolling the perimeter, but apart from that, the whole area was completely quiet. The vampire thought about sneaking back in through one of the back entrances, but thought it was best to make her return known so people wouldn’t suspect that anything was wrong. That and it would hopefully reassure Sir Integra.
However, Seras’ musings were soon interrupted by something soft brushing against her leg.
Meow.
Seras beamed and glanced down at her feet where the tiny grey kitten was rubbing its face against her ankle. It purred as it wrapped itself around her leg, and Seras wasted no time in scoping up the adorable little kitten, sapphire blue eyes meeting ruby red ones.
“Rosie! What are you doing out here, you little rascal! You know Sir Integra won’t be happy if she catches you out here,” Seras scolded, but it was impossible to stay mad at that adorable little face that stared back at her blankly. She quickly giggled before pulling the kitten against her chest, nuzzling her face into the thick, soft fur that never failed to comfort her.
She had only had Rosie a few months, but they were already super close. It was rare that you saw one without the other these days. Seras had found the stray kitten trembling under a rose bush after having being shot at by a soldier who was startled at the sight of a cat suddenly running across the grounds of the estate. It took a while for Seras to coax it back out, but it was love at first sight.
At first, she had tried to keep the kitten hidden, knowing that the answer would be no if she asked to keep it. However the secret didn’t last long when the kitten had somehow managed to escape her room one night and Sir Integra had gotten the fright of her life when the little feline jumped onto her lap while she was drinking a cup of tea. Hot tea had spilled all over her as she had shrieked in surprise before pulling out her gun to shoot at the creature.
Alucard had not been far behind her and was about to squish the poor cat before Seras had jumped in between them, almost getting herself squashed in the process.
Luckily, after hours of begging and pleading, Integra relented and let her ‘keep the blasted thing’, as she had put it. Her master had been less than happy, constantly hissing and growling at the poor kitten. Seras had teased him that he was just jealous of the attention that she was giving it. Though she had immediately regretted that joke when he threatened to eat the poor cat. So now Seras definitely didn’t leave him alone with the kitten. He would warm to it soon… she hoped…
“Let’s get you inside where it’s warm,” Seras cooed as she made her way to the front doors. They automatically opened for her, much to her shock, but she did her best to smile warmly when Henry greeted her upon entrance.
“Did you have a nice walk, my lady?” he asked, bowing slightly before closing the door behind her.
“Ummm, yes, thank you, Henry,” Seras replied. “Can you let Sir Integra know that I’m back?”
“Of course, my lady.” He bowed again before heading in the direction of Integra’s main office.
Seras puffed out her cheeks as she watched the butler retreat. She missed Walter, no matter how long it had been and despite the fact that he had betrayed them in the end. Henry was nice and did his job well, but it just wasn’t the same. She heard that he had once been an agent for MI5 before retiring from all of that. He was a tall man in his sixties with a grey moustache and thinning grey hair. But he could hold his own in a fight, which was definitely needed if you wanted to work in this place.
“Where have you been?” A cold voice startled Seras and she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“GAH! Master, you scared me!” she huffed at him, clinging to Rosie even tighter.
She automatically took a step back as the superior vampire towered over her. He was looking down at her completely expressionless, his orange glasses hiding his eyes as usual. She made sure to keep her mind blank in case he decided to break his promise and invade her thoughts. He seemed to have been good to his word so far, but Seras wasn’t taking any chances. She was enjoying her new-found privacy, especially as of late. No doubt her master would berate her for being so sentimental.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he pressed.
“S-so?” Seras stupidly stuttered. “I don’t have to tell you everything I get up to.”
Alucard raised an eyebrow at her and Seras knew that he was hoping that she would cave in any second and come clean like she normally did. But not this time!
“It’s none of your business anyway,” the female vampire added, narrowing her eyes as she looked away from him.
“As your master, it is indeed my business.”
Seras felt him follow her as she took another step back.
“Alucard!” a strict voice called from the stop of the stairs. “Leave the Police Girl alone!”
Seras looked up, grateful that Sir Integra had stepped in when she had. She really didn’t want to disclose this information to her master. This was personal and private. He would never understand and likely call her an idiot like he usually did. She loved and adored her master, but this was just something that she wanted to be left alone to deal with herself. She had only confided in Integra because Seras needed her permission to do anything. It had been uncomfortable, but was far easier than confiding in her master.
“Why was she allowed out without me?” Alucard demanded his master, seeming almost offended and… worried? Though Seras probably imagined that last part.
“It is a private matter,” Integra responded, always unintimidated by Alucard.
Seras shot her a grateful look.
“Anything to do with the Police Girl immediately involves me,” he argued.
“I have a name y’know,” Seras sighed out, but they both ignored her.
“You forget your place, servant,” Integra spoke to Alucard as she began making her way slowly down the stairs, her wrinkled face frowning as she regarded the two of them. “The Police Girl merely wanted some time alone which I granted permission for under strict conditions which she has obeyed.”
“Why was I not consulted?” Alucard was growing more and more impatient.
“You didn’t need to know.” Integra remained firm.
Alucard closed his eyes and let out a threatening chuckle. “Are you ladies keeping secrets from me?”
“Not everything’s about you, y’know.” Seras rolled her eyes, stepping away from the scene and heading down towards the deeper levels of the mansion where her room was located.
“I will speak with you later!” she heard her master call to her as she turned a corner in the corridor.
Whatever, Seras thought to herself. She wasn’t a child. She could look after herself. Why was he so bothered anyway? He probably just resented the fact that he was being kept out of the loop. The female vampire knew that he could have a habit of being controlling, but this was ridiculous. She had only been gone for two, maybe three hours at the most. It was hardly the end of the world.
When she finally reached her room, she locked her door behind her, not that it would stop her master if he was determined to get answers out of her. But it still provided Seras with a sense of security. Her back instantly rested against the door before she let Rosie drop out of her arms who ran straight towards a ball of yarn that Seras had gotten for her. The little kitten purred happily to herself which made the vampire crack a smile as she pushed herself away from the door and collapsed onto her couch.
Her lamp gave the room a warm orange glow, along with the fire that had remained burning for a while now to ensure that Rosie stayed nice and warm. Despite being a vampire, Seras felt exhausted. This trip had taken much more out of her than she thought.
With a sigh, the draculina unbuttoned her coat and tossed it onto the back of her small couch before her hat, gloves and scarf soon followed. Rosie then jumped up at her, curling her tiny body against the vampire’s chest, purring peacefully as they nuzzled each other. Seras moved one hand up to rest it against her kitten, weaving her fingers through the soft silver fur that always reminded Seras of the moon.
As she lay there, her eyes drifted towards all of the pictures and posters hung up on the adjacent wall. Over the years, she had created a mood board of sorts to try and brighten up her windowless dungeon disguised as a bedroom. The stone walls never failed to remind Seras that she was technically a prisoner here, so she tried to cover them up as best as she could. There were posters of her favourite band, some art pieces that she liked, along with many photos. A lot of them featured her life here at the Hellsing organisation. There were pictures of her posing with soldiers she had somewhat befriended, along with pictures of her and a reluctant Integra. Her favourite one was the photo where she had organised a surprise fortieth birthday party for Integra, where the knight sat in front of a birthday cake, looking awkward as Seras had placed a party hat on her head as she smiled cheerfully behind her.
Seras enjoyed making this place more like a family home. All work and no play was boring. As the years went by, her confidence grew and the more comfortable she felt in this place. She even found herself standing up to her master a lot more now, much to his chagrin. Yet he never punished her over it like she expected.
She smiled to herself as she gazed at the few pictures she had of her master. He never cared much for photographs and was usually only caught in the frame by accident. There was one time Seras had tried to snap a picture of him reading in the library, only to be snarled at by him mid-shot. The resulting photo was a black and red blurry mess, but Seras kept it nevertheless. However, there was one picture she had managed to capture of her master where he seemed to have a genuine smile on his face. It had been taken last year at a ball held in honour of King Charles III as a sort of thank you for funding the Hellsing organisation and helping keep Britain safe.
The picture had been taken by Henry of the moment that Seras joined the party. She was making her way down the stairs in a sleeveless black frock that flared down to her knees, showing off her smooth pale skin. It was one of those rare occasions where she had actually worn high heels and made an effort with her hair which was tied back with a loose bun. Her master was at the bottom of the stairs among the crowd, smiling up at her, his jaw almost appearing slack. It was quite comical yet touching to see such a tender and soft expression on his face. It was such a rarity that Seras just had to have a copy of the picture and hang it up on her wall.
Her thoughts were quickly interrupted, however, when there was a sharp knock on her door.
Seras groaned. “Go away, master, I’m not in the mood.”
“It’s me,” a more feminine voice greeted from behind the thick wood.
Seras quickly shot up, startling Rosie in the process as she hissed and hid under the couch. The vampire quickly made her way to the door to unlock it and let Sir Integra in. She really didn’t want to have to deal with her either, but she would take Integra over her master right now.
